Prayer ?

Cycling…
It all started very innocently.
I had a very natural love for the bicycle.
I think it truly was my first love.
I’ll never forget the absolute wonder and desire I had for these two-wheeled machines.
I’m 47 now and nothing has changed. I still take pleasure in standing back and absorbing all of it. Their clean lines, the colors, the mind blowing simplicity and complexity of its function. I have a race bike that’s 20 years old that is just as beautiful today as it was the day I bought it. In fact, now that I think about it, it’s even more beautiful. Every aspect of that bike I have gone over thousands of times. It should be destroyed with the thousands of hours I spent trying to annihilate myself with it. And yet, both it and I, stand arguably stronger than ever. It now hangs retired in my garage. And I still continue to spin the wheels and admire its form.
It took years for that innocent, uncomplicated love that I had for my bike as a child to evolve into what it was to become. Riding so hard and so long that the rhythm and pain exported me into the ether realm. A realm so alluring and powerful that I spent seven years crushing myself with distances that were once unfathomable. All to understand and maintain this mystical state where the flesh didn’t hold me, where I was free from its pain and limitations.
Was this a form of prayer or sacrifice?
Fledgeling myself before the gods hoping for the secrets of painless bliss to be bestowed upon me.
The ether realm maintained its elusivity.
Although, the prayer was heard.
The countless hours and deeply meditative rhythmic breathing cracked my cosmic egg.
It was in my failure to obtain the mastery of this ether realm that was the key.
The key was letting go.
Letting go of my purpose and desires.
I didn’t intend to hang up my bike all those years ago.
But when I found that I was what I was looking for, the cilice I wore in the form of a two-wheeled machine lost its purpose.
I was free.
Today the distances I once rode are a thing of the past. A form of hysterical prayer that I no longer desire.
My prayers are short today.
The love is still as vibrant as ever.
Riding with my new baby boy in tow.
It’s funny, I see the same utter amazement in his eyes and body when he sees my new gigantically beautiful bike roll up beside him.
His entire body screams with glee.
I see aspects of myself in him.
Bright blue eyes, unencumbered and filled with innocence and simplicity.