Missing shingles and holes in the roof leave the house exposed to the elements.
Chandeliers with missing crystals coated in dust and cobwebs hang tenuously from their mounts.
The remnants of expensive wallpaper hangs loosely from the walls.
The once elegant kitchen smells of rot.
Fixtures are covered in corrosion.
Mold and mildew permeate the air.
The wood floors, now soft and rotten, have given way in places to expose the dark, dank basement.
Books that have been ravaged by water and time sit yellowed and wrinkled on warped shelves.
Unreadable.
Money, long ago, lost its value.
I vaguely remember the desperation I’d feel when I would lose my phone.
How silly social media was.
Arguing with strangers.
Strangers I would gladly hold and hug today.
I was never so sure of my ideologies.
What a luxury it was to have someone to hate.
I see how foolish I was, when I have no one to love.
I haven’t spoken to another human in years.
I don’t even know what time is any more.
It lost its use long ago.
The cement foundation is crumbling and brittle, leaving a wet gray sludge strewn across the floor.
I forgot the fear of death as desolation devoured my days.
Death, what a luxury.
Will today be the day the house finally falls?
Will I feel the debris crashing onto my body?
Oh, the luxury of pain.
I haven’t felt anything in so long.
Without any story to share, I stare.
Without the tension of death, I’ve lost the meaning of life.
Like a distant memory from the past, I say, “I’m ready”.
I’ll step into the abyss this time, I won’t turn in fear.
I welcome the looming darkness and deafening quiet.
I’m not afraid anymore.
Peering into the vast, open, and endless void, I willingly fall forward…
My senses flash like lightening in a storm.
With a start, I gasp as though I forgot to breathe.
I push myself up sharply and try to blink my world into focus.
I vaguely recall the dream of a personal apocalypse.
Pulled from the abyss, I’m bathing in the light of a distant looming rainbow.
Sitting on the swim dock with my sister.
Sailboats heeling.
My parents waving from the shore.
I promise I’ll never leave you!
I dive in and the cool crisp water envelops me.
Diving deeper and deeper, I turn towards the surface.
Spreading my arms wide, relaxing, and floating…
With a hard, swift kick I burst forth from a field of fresh dry powder.
The brisk mountain air kisses my cheeks.
Snow pouring over my chest.
My sister in stride.
Stay with me!
I’ll never leave you!
The steep pitch is perfect for the plentiful powder.
Charging forward, fearlessly, faster and faster.
The landscape, an unrecognizable blur.
My path, like the rhythm of a wave.
Bounding weightlessly.
The mountain sun, so bright.
I can hear my dog in the distance.
Howling, happy.
Is that coffee I smell?
But, she died years ago?
I wake up, confused.
My face mashed into a matted pillow, wet with drool.
Was I dreaming of a dream dreamt?
My head dizzy with deja vu.
The morning sun is pouring through my windows and my neighbor’s dog is barking. I hear my wife down stairs making espresso.
Disoriented, I grab my phone and text myself a quick note.
When I come home from work, I tell my wife, “I had the craziest dream.”
“What?” she says, distracted.
“I had the craziest dream. I wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget.”
“Oh…”
“It’s in my phone, I texted it to myself.”
“Oh”, She turns to look at me.
Here it is, “I awoke with a fright, only to realize, I was asleep while sleeping.”
“What does that even mean?” she says confused.
I’m not su…
Beep
Beep
Beep
Beep
Beep
Fumbling, I find my snooze.