Relationship

I’m a man.
This was my world…
Unattainable needs and desires.
Pushed and persuaded by twisted ideologies.
Simplistic sexual relationships.
Liquor, the elixir.
Greed, paramount.
Complacency, a goal.
Apathetic about my apathy.
Shiny cars adorned with large breasted women.
Boats with blonds stretched out across their bows.
Friends whispering syrupy gossip about each other.
Relationships with God were similar to relationships with Santa Clause
Rudolph’s gleaming red nose, stretching longer and longer.
I grew up in a world where we applauded the skillful, lying politician.
The paramount concern was profit over people.
I grew up in a world where men with feelings were sissies.
I grew up in a world where shrinks were only for quacks.
I grew up in a world where I was told everyone had the same opportunities.
The only obstacle was your willingness to pull yourself up by the boot straps.
I too became a lier, with the proficiency of a politician.
I lied about who I was and where I was going. I lied to those who I loved because I loved a lie.
All the teachers I knew lived this lie.
The syrupy sweet lie.
An entire culture dependent on ignoring the…  in the living room.
I am a man.
I’m on a path of recovery.
Will you recover with me?
Male complacency is becoming common place.
Men, we can be so much fuller than we are.
Woman changed their world, so can we.
They are taking on roles of leaders, care takers, and policy makers.
But there’s still so much oppression! I see that.
I’d argue the oppression will not cease by continuing to solely make women stronger. Males need to evolve too. Males and females are one. One does not exist without the other. We can’t expect to achieve the peace and equality we all desire, and disregard one of the sexes.
Many now regard females as the superior sex. They’re evolving at a rate that’s leaving men befuddled and scratching their heads.
What’s key to understand is that women’s liberation is connected to male liberation. Until men are understood to be equally worthy and capable by women, and men themselves, the imbalance and inequality we fight against will continue.
The hit television show, The Simpsons, expresses the imbalance that I’m referring to.
Homer Simpson’s boss, Mr. Burns, the megalomaniacal oppressor, represents the archetype of the industrious insidious male. The archetype that women’s rights and feminism was born from and revolted against.
This isn’t the archetype we want to model. I think most of us are in agreement on that.
Even the show depicts Mr. Burns as old and out of fashion.
Which is good, right?
Yes, but…
The problem is what the men have evolved into.
Homer Simpson represents the lovable, yet low level, knuckle dragging buffoon, who hasn’t surrendered to his biological inferiority and is still fighting the un-winnable fight.
Bart Simpson is the apathetic, lazy, and cynical deviant. The product of a culture that’s so mired in apathy, there’s no expectation for him to be anything but his deviant self.
These are the male archetypes we as society have resigned ourselves to: the incompetent, naughty male with little to no emotional intelligence, or the old fashion dictatorial male oppressor. This is so thoroughly pervasive in contemporary society that “male bashing” slips past the lips like bigotry in the era of Rosa Parks and M.L.K.
I hear these archetypes thoughtlessly reinforced every day. Mothers proudly referencing their successful daughters saying gleefully, “Well, she is a girl!” or expressing the same sentiment, tainted with sullen apathy, with regard to their sons, “Well, you know boys.”
I see grown men, mired in their own shame, propagating these cultural archetypes. Laughing off their stereotypical low level development looking for a sympathetic, there, there. You can see they’re ashamed of their essence.
It reminds me of a tendency I used to have. I’d hold the door twice as long for a black person. Trying to subtly say, I’m sorry.
I was so confused.
In the face of black, I was ashamed of white.
Primarily because I was so disconnected from the culture I was trying to empathize with. It took me years to see black culture and history for what it was, vital and beautiful. While simultaneously maintaining my own sense of personal vitality and beauty.
This is what men need to do with regard to women. Raise them up. See them, honor them, embrace their power, and honor their history and plight. Teach your sons. Teach them to treat women like they are powerful and elegant queens.
Women, recognize your part too. Don’t play the role of victim. Encouraging this negative perception of men will only hold you down. Embrace your men. Honor their strength. Empathize with their fear of emotions and the legacy that’s demanded that of them. Teach your daughters that the strong alpha males are the boys who brave their emotions. Teach your daughters to build up their men, not tear them down.  Teach them to treat their men as wise, noble kings.
I heard a story on NPR years ago that’s worth acknowledging. The piece was focusing on the negative relationship of boys and virtual reality. The first part of the story discussed gaming. The findings suggested boys were more motivated by their virtual environments than by physical and social connections. The motivation and accolades from sport and academics paled in comparison to the motivation and achievements made in the hierarchical structure of their virtual gaming world, a world with very few girls. Which ties directly to the second aspect of this story, boys didn’t seem interested in real girls. They had their needs met by the perfectly polished girls who were at their beck and call in the virtual world. No social expectations, no hair out of place, every dream and physical variety indulged on demand. The boys talked about being grossed out by real girls.
The doctor doing this study found the girls’ response alarming. Less than fifty percent of girls saw themselves wanting to get married. When asked why, the girls exclaimed, “Would you want to marry them?!”
These dark aspects of society have been exemplified in the movies, Kids and Super Bad.
Both disturbing depictions of male development in the modern era.
So what’s the point of this?
Half of humanity is dying on the vine.
We are all familiar with the Yin Yang symbol, which is referred to as Taijitu in Taoism. A symbol of harmonic symbiotic balance, the Yin, the female; the Yang, the male.
A symbol of the cosmic interplay of balance.
We are out of balance, males and females.
The symbolism of the Taijitu, with its profound wisdom, can guide us, males and females, into balance and higher states of consciousness.
The Taijitu is representative of all manifest reality and the interplay of balance that is forever occurring.
To understand the Taijitu you need to understand what it represents.
Nothing has meaning without its opposite
There is no light without dark.
There is no life without death.
Short is meaningless without long.
The only way to recognize peace is by knowing war.
Manifestation is held in balance and recognized by its opposition.
Yin Yang…
That’s relatively easy to see.
What’s less clear is the space surrounding the Taijitu. It is the source of creation and potentials, un-manifested and un-realized.
The Taijitu is nothing without the space surrounding it.
Just as humanity is nothing without everything surrounding it.
That space represents the vastness of creation, the source of Taijitu.
Waking up to your connection with this source is the path to your liberation.
In this “waking up”, everything becomes clear.
A rebirth.
An entirely new state of consciousness.
Men aren’t threatened by powerful women and powerful men don’t threaten.
Your bliss is my bliss.
Your power is my power.
Your equality is my equality.
Clarity in oneness.
Raise your boys and girls from this state of consciousness.