Disconnected

My parents generously brought our entire family on a cruise.
There was something I didn’t think about…
There was no cellular service.
Our phones didn’t work.

Habitually, I still picked it up.
I craved the satisfaction it provided.

I don’t like admitting this.
It’s a bit embarrassing.
Especially when my instinct was to tell you about someone else’s problem.

Shadow is a silly thing.
A scary thing.

Regardless,
I found my actions to be very pavlovian.
Even though it didn’t give me the fix I desired,
I continued to impulsively pick it up.
I’d find myself scrolling through my phone…
Looking for something.

Without the immediate connection to the world wide web,
The news of the day wasn’t pouring into my consciousness.
My daily dose of dualism wasn’t delivered.

It took a week of being disconnected,
To see this clearly.

Imagine, three thousand people,
All disconnected,
Floating along,
Connecting.