Peace requires understanding

Peace requires understanding.

I’ve been at the center of a lot of conflict lately.
I’ve told people that they are hurting me.
I’ve told people that they’ve over stepped their boundaries.
I’ve defended my family.

I hoped for open communication.
Ultimately, I hoped for understanding.

At some level, I expected defensiveness.
It’s hard when the person you’re speaking with is offended.
Somehow that’s different.

I’ve reflected on my decision to engage in these conflicts.
In asserting my thoughts and feelings, I took a risk.
I chose to speak my truth.
An unwelcome action, sometimes.

I question what peace looks like in conflict.
I think it centers on some simple ideas.
Does your commentary pass this muster?

Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?

That’s the first step.
A vitally important step.

The second step is often the hardest.
Letting go of expectation.
This is what I struggle with the most.

It’s hard to speak your truth.
It’s difficult because you’re likely to encounter resistance.
Often times it’s your own resistance that’s the most challenging.

To speak mindfully and purposefully.
At this level, you’re likely invested in an outcome.
You’ve put your heart out there, and on the line.
To let go of expectation is… hard.

In today’s world, in this time of transition and growth, there is a lot of pain.
Growth is difficult.
People say offensive things.
I’ve said offensive things.
I’ve been called out for it.
I deserved to be called out.
I was wrong.

If you’re told that you’ve hurt someone,
Listen…
Be mindful.
Try to take the opportunity to grow.
To become a fuller and more compassionate person.
Try not to take it defensively,
Or offensively.
We all make mistakes.
The best we can do is try and make amends.
Have compassion for those whose feelings you likely don’t understand.
Listen to them.
Try to be them.
Even if you believe them to be wrong,
Understand their emotions are real and valid.
Have compassion for that pain.
Welcome someone who wants to understand.
This is how we grow.

Evolve…

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”
~Albert Einstein